When I mentioned a few weeks ago on Twitter that I was suddenly doing more voice over work than I ever expected for clients, this was really not what I had in mind.

Last week, a very hesitant but nice-sounding man rang and asked for me by name. It was pretty much the normal thing – he’d heard of me from a friend, I came highly recommended, was I available, etc. The conversation got muddled very quickly though, because as it turns out, he was very much not looking for a website.

I’m not sure if he was looking for in-call escort services, out-call escort services, or phone sex, but he was definitely seeking a service I am entirely unwilling to provide at my current hourly rate. Possibly he was looking for dominatrix services, because I got quite irritated trying to get him to say what he was actually after, and it didn’t seem to put him off one bit.

As pranks (or harassment) go, this all worked out quite well for me as I am not a huge fan of the telephone to start out with. The more it rings the less I like it. So as more and more calls started to come in, I happily turned off my mobile and switched off all the phones in the house. The one I couldn’t turn off is now in pieces on the kitchen counter. It’s been there for a week.

Our house phone mailbox is now full, and my mobile has a truly silly amount of voice mail.

Things I’ve Learned:

• People appear to have plenty of money to spend on entertainment, even in a recession;
• A surprising number of people do not withhold their numbers when phoning out for something decidedly more indulgent than a pizza;
• I really should convert my work phone to a premium rate service…

So, if you’ve been trying to reach me and have not been able to, your message is in quite a queue and it’s likely I won’t be retrieving it, so you may want to drop me an email or try again. Happy phoning!