Dear Radisson Hotel, Golden Lane, Dublin

Radisson Hotel, Golden Lane, Dublin

Dear Radisson SAS Hotel, Golden Lane, Dublin:

Enclosed, please find a bill for €52.50.

On October 10th, 2009, I arrived to check into the Radisson, where I had reserved a room to attend the Irish Web Awards. Upon entering your hotel, I stood in a queue for no less than 23 minutes before I was afforded the privilege of giving you €160 in exchange for a room key.

The following morning, I stood again in a queue of at least 10 people, this time for 16 minutes, to be able to return said room key to you and pay €3 for a bottle of water to a desk clerk who could not make change for me. Finally, I queued a third time – this time for 27 minutes – to have my parking stub validated at a cost of €10.

It is beyond my comprehension how a hotel that is booked to capacity, as  yours was for this event, can be taken by surprise at the notion guests may actually want to check in and then later, at the designated check-out time, check out. Given the completely inadequate levels at which you staffed your front desk on this weekend, however, I can only assume you were indeed surprised by this extraordinary display of guest behaviour.

Should your math skills be as compromised as the desk clerk’s, I will simply point out that on a trip where I passed only 18 hours in Dublin, I spent more than one hour of it standing in a queue at your front desk. As you might imagine if you too had been treated this way for these unacceptable amounts of time, by the third go round this experience was nothing short of enraging. Matters were very much not helped by the numerous members of staff who exited the offices to the rear of the front desk, literally walked through the lengthy queue, and then departed to do anything but assist with extending basic customer service to a lobby full of paying guests.

Please note that I am not asking you to compensate me for the irritation of your moronic lifts, the awkward lack of cloakroom facilities for event guests, the atrocity that is closing the residents’ bar at 2 AM, or the swill that passes for your coffee. I merely wish to be compensated for the actual, entirely wasted hour of my life I spent waiting for you to fail to extend the “personalized, professional guest service and genuine hospitality” for which you apparently strive.

Thanking you in advance for your prompt remittance,

Sabrina Dent
Etc.