Sabrina Dent: Freelance web designer, developer and internet marketer living in Cork, Ireland with one dog and a husband in no particular order.
NetExpo Parties Like It's 1997
When something bills itself in 2009 as “Ireland’s first online only event” – which is an epic pile of spinning PR bullshit – you know you’re off to a great start. And when it’s promoted with a video as completely and totally hilarious as this one, you know this “dazzling selling experience” is going to be too good to miss.
And so it proved to be with NetExpo’s Search Event 2009. I could try to explain to you the complete and utter trainwreck this turkey turned out to be when it opened today, but I genuinely don’t think I could do it justice and a picture is, as they say, worth a thousand words. Click for larger images:
That’s the “Main Hall” – you have to click the tiny text for Hall A or Hall B to visit the exhibition halls:
This is Hall B. You can’t actually click any of those exhibition booths – which is just as well because how much would you not want to be the tiny ones at the back? – you have to click the imperceptible “Show Booths” link at the top:
And that brings us to the “exhibitors.” This is the Blacknight, erm, booth. I don’t think Blacknight is particularly being punished for something; they all more or less look like that.
There are a million crap ideas crappily executed every day, so I’m not sure why I find this one so completely irksome. I think it has something to do with the fact that they’ve illegitimately promoted it as some kind of ground-breaking first for Ireland,when it is in fact the opposite of ground-breaking and what’s more, completely embarassing.
In all seriousness, it’s like these people just discovered the internet the day before yesterday and have stepped straight into a time machine headed for 1997. They’re saying things like “deliver your sales message to customers new and old right into where they work during their regular business hours!” and I think they actually mean it. They have a blog entry titled “Why you should do business online” and I think they mean that, too.
The thing is, this is not the worst idea ever. There is arguably a market for and a value to bringing companies together in a virtual space for time-limited promotional event with a lot of buzz around it. But the execution here is just so, so appalling that I actually called a few exhibitors to find out if they knew it was going to be like this – because I couldn’t believe anyone had signed up for this pile of horsehit.
Predictably, the most common response was “Oh my God. Oh my GOD. OH MY GOD!” followed by the sound of foreheads crashing into keyboards. So I’m guessing no.
Hilariously, under each booth is scrolling text that says If You Would Like To Find Out More About Hosting Your Own Online Expo….Contact Us At…
That would be 1997@compuserve.com, yes?
27 May 2009
| In: Crankypants + Ireland + Marketing | Tags:FAIL, netexpo, searchevent2009
Spot on Sabrina. I had previously logged in to check it out and I did it again today since I thought: “well, with the official launch, I’m sure it will look better”. Total disaster.
27.05.2009, 4:39 pmStill really frustrated that you can’t click on almost anything
Cheers
Fred
AOL KEYWORD: Fugly
27.05.2009, 4:40 pmMaybe in about 15 years they’ll expand into having stalls and avatars in SecondLife.
Its also odd that that they say contact ‘admin@netexpo-online.ie’, that domain name is actually available to buy http://short.ie/see/2wnv79
27.05.2009, 4:41 pm@Gordon:
Well spotted! I see an opportunity for someone to purchase that domain name and re-direct it to this blog post :)
I think they’ve successfully managed to recreate the real conference experience but online – aimless walking up and down narrow aisles to glance at stuff you’ve no interest in. At least the coffee’s good though.
27.05.2009, 4:56 pmThe language should have been a clue. Or a screaming warning. Who with a straight face wrote this:
“if you are a start up or a small to medium size company that knows you need to be online but aren’t exactly sure how to go about it, or if you are a high end web professional searching for the coming trends in online”
Trends in online? Yuck.
27.05.2009, 4:56 pm@Sabrina
If it was a .com I would have, pity.
27.05.2009, 5:37 pmHey. They ripped off my first year interactive media project from 1998, the dastards. I’m calling my solicitor.
27.05.2009, 7:43 pmI attended the Virtual Worlds Best Practices in Education conference, a three day event, in Second Life a few weeks ago and was genuinely blown away by how excellent it was. I literally (or is that figuratively) bumped into a few people, exchanged chit chat and made some great contacts.
Including a few speakers from Trinity College in Dublin who just happened to take the piss out of my so 2007-styled avatar within ‘earshot’ of me without realizing it. A quick retort later and we were having a great conversation about their presentation before they whisked us off for a tour of their work on another ‘island’. During breaks between talks I also attended the trade show floor / exhibit area where I was warmly welcomed and conversed with.
Which is a long and rambling way of saying this stuff *can* be done. Virtual presentations and trade shows can offer a value proposition when executed correctly. But by golly this one was so far short of that mark that it was almost comical… almost.
27.05.2009, 7:46 pm[...] No amount of buzzwords could have saved this disaster from itself. A sentiment also shared by Sabrina Dent who has extensive experience with Virtual [...]
27.05.2009, 9:28 pmIs it just me, because those expo pictures remind me of some events in Second Life, except it’s 2D with stock images of businessy people instead of virtual fashionistas, scripters, builders, and other persons of influence.
They’d have probably been better off to actually do it in SL, would be more fun. At least they could throw parties with live or DJ’d music, trivia contests, and whatnot and have interesting interactive displays. Click a box, get a goodie bag for your avatar and whatnot, and they could still do presentations and seminars.
28.05.2009, 8:52 amMy god that’s horrendous.
28.05.2009, 6:41 pmFantastic review Sabrina!!! Purely fantastic… :)
29.05.2009, 1:03 pmDid you get their survey this morning? Just filled it out. That was fun. Brave of them to ask really.
08.06.2009, 10:24 amI like Blacknight but that image is hilarious. The two at the front look like they’re reading dance instructions….
“it says 3 steps forward then 3 steps back – look, like this” she says!
10.06.2009, 2:52 pm