Sabrina Dent: Freelance web designer, developer and internet marketer living in Cork, Ireland with one dog and a husband in no particular order.
A Short History of Ireland
I recently read a wonderful little book called The Feckin’ Book of Everything Irish because, as a transplant, it is crucially important that I study the difference between a shite hawk and a scanger. From this book, I learned several interesting things, including all the words to The Cliffs of Dooneen and a cracking recipe for Beef and Guinness Casserole.
I was also reminded of a few historical facts, all of which I actually knew but none of which had been laid out for me chronologically before.
- Condoms were not available without a prescription until 1985.
- Homosexuality was illegal until 1993.
- Divorce was not legal until 1995.
- Top shelf man’s mags were not available until 1996.
This blows my mind. It blows my mind on several counts, one of which is that on paper, I can’t imagine why anyone would choose to move to such a seemingly backwards nation. I mean Christ, you could buy condoms at the newstand just off the front steps of the Vatican in 1985.
And yet, here I am.
However, that short history of Ireland does explain one of the many reasons why, despite being extremely happy to live here, I will never be Irish. Genetically, of course, I am Irish, but only in that extremely irritating “Kiss me, I’m Irish-American!” fuckwitted IRA fundraising way. Being Irish is much, much more about shared cultural experiences, and my cultural experiences couldn’t be further from that history list:
- In 1985, while not yet buying condoms myself, I certainly knew how to put them on – because we’d all practiced in health class. Regularly. With bananas.
- In 1993, while not a lesbian myself (much to my family’s great dismay) I was waving the flag for my gay family and friends at NYC Pride, and had been every year since I was three.
- In 1995, while not divorced myself, I was sleeping with a ready supply of men who were divorced. Or who were going to be shortly. Or who were seriously thinking about it, at least right then.
- In 1996, while not yet writing for top shelf men’s mags, I was certainly reading them. My dad was defending some Playboy copyright dispute and we had every back issue from 1955 in the house; my mother, who had placed several authors in Playboy, also had a few issues in her office.
In short, my upbringing and exposures were just radically different to those of my Irish contemporaries. I don’t think I’d ever even conversed with a nun until I was 23, and I’ve certainly never been beaten, shamed or buggered by a priest. Thus, I am sorely lacking in key Irish experiences.
Still, to give Ireland its due, when I look at that chronology, I’m impressed by the rapidity of change here once it got going. It gives me hope that we’ll see some similarly accelerated progress here in the next few years; gay marriage rights and access to abortion would bring Ireland into the current century in a nicely progressive fashion. With the massive influx of foreign workers here, and all of the social change of the last 20 years, it’s an interesting place to live right now.
Even if there is a fair shower of savages.
17 Jan 2008
| In: Ireland |
I used to wear a “Kiss Me I’m Irish” button every March when growing up in the States.
17.01.2008, 8:33 amYes, but you were young and also sporting velour and a bad, bad haircut. Let us rejoice in the wisdom of years…
17.01.2008, 8:40 amA thing that always stuns me is that the divorce referendum in 1995 passed (by memory, so I may be out a touch) by 50.3% to 49.7%, becoming the closest vote ever in the history of the state. Many counties voted against it, including my own fair Donegal.
I’d like to hope it would walk through now; like most things in Irish life, divorce was all set to bring the moral destruction of the country and send us all to hell. Unsurprisingly, things continue as usual, but some people’s lives are improved greatly.
17.01.2008, 8:44 amIt’s remarkable how behind the times we were for such a long time.
I remember watching a retrospective of 1990 – 2000 when the millennium was upon us. If I remember right, in around ’91 there were massive protests outside Virgin Megastores on Eden Quay due to the fact that they’d started selling condoms in their store.
Sad really, but I think that mindset is dying off here, thankfully.
17.01.2008, 9:42 amAnother great post Sabrina. It’s true about collective experiences though isn’t it? Although born and partially bred here I missed out 1989-2005, which essentially makes me a Yank. All my time in the states I clung to every shred of “Irishness” I had and even refused to get citizenship when I had a chance, as it would have meant denouncing Ireland in court, on a bible. Fuck me. Now I’m back and I am the worst Irish person ever. The husband, a true yank, has the same ideas as you. He immerses himself in such reading and has adapted to the Irish vernacular in a way that is quite impressive – although I can’t help but notice you’ve done the same. Is it an American thing? I just don’t give a shit. I’m a bad person and a yank, apparently.
17.01.2008, 10:24 amHa ha. I write with what little vernacular I have a grasp of because it’s what naturally rolls into my head from hearing it regularly. I *completely* edit it out of my speech though, because I sound like a sad, lame twat of a poser if I say anything more Irish than “yer man there.”
I use British vernacular much more naturally because I lived there for a long time. I was also pretty happy to let my Yankeeness go because I was never very attached to it.
Either way, though, when I open my mouth you’ll be in no doubt that I was born and raised in New York :)
17.01.2008, 10:33 amNow listen up, yanks. You had your time in the sun, but that’s all over now. Get over it. Cower before the might of the Celtic Cubling.
We have your multinational companies, many of them employing people in *very important* call centre work.
We have their taxes – that €3.3 million that Google allegedly paid will sort out the health service fo’ sho’.
‘Knowledge economy’? Bertie created it, and it’s treasonous to suggest otherwise (thank you Mary O’Rourke, I didn’t think you could possibly be as entertaining as you were back in the day when you privatised eircom). It’s all about de, eh computers and, eh, de Internet.
You may have invented massive personal debt, but who’s better at accumulating it, huh? We used to live in the shadow of the national debt, but thanks to the clear-sightedness of our leaders, public debt has been quietly and efficiently converted into private debt. Huzzah!
You like your cars, but who’s more dependent on them? Us, that’s who, and by god do we pay more for it. Zing!
You think some parts of the States are experiencing a bursting property bubble? Let one of the least densely-populated countries in Europe show you how to do it, suckers! Just because we don’t call 10 times income, 100% interest-only 40 year mortgages ‘sub-prime’ doesn’t mean we can’t mix it with you lot. Our bankers are just as irresponsible and dumb as yours, okay?
So your political system may be a tad corrupt. Why do you think that is? Because we got over there and got stuck into the graft with real gusto. Unfortunately the Irish can’t claim sole responsibility for that. The Italians, the only European nation with a corruption culture to rival Ireland’s, had a bit of a hand in it as well.
Just remember, Ireland is DIFFERENT. Normal rules do not apply.
As an example, the radio just reported a decrease in inflation from 5% to 4.7% as ‘falling prices’. Mind-boggling.
17.01.2008, 4:09 pmBeing a “Yank”, as it’s so pleasantly put, has never been so thrown in my face on a daily basis in my entire life. Now that I’m marrying an Irishman and moved abroad I get to hear “Well that’s different over here” about a million times a week. I KNOW we’re different that’s why I moved here.
While I’m on the subject, why do people think that I’m personally responsible for the mess Bush has made? Or that I single handedly caused every political/enviromental problem in America? At least that’s what I’m lead to believe. BECAUSE PEOPLE TAKE IT OUT ON ME! Or at least make it known that where I’m from is a melting cesspool of corrupt politicians (duh) and ignorance (duh X 2). I know America has it’s problem but please stop spewing negative shit on every one of us you meet. It’s ANNOYING!!! Dammit, I need some whiskey.
17.01.2008, 9:56 pmOh, poor Jessie. I see nobody welcomed you into the club and taught you the secret handshake. You probably didn’t get the decoder ring either, right?
Just tell everyone you’re Canadian. Solves any number of problems.
18.01.2008, 12:35 pmJessi, sorry, I left out my sarcasm / tongue in cheek tags!
My American friends have been threatening for about 6 years to get “I didn’t vote for him, so don’t blame me” t-shirts printed the next time they visit. That hasn’t proved necessary, yet.
The point I was trying to make is that a large proportion of the Irish population seem to believe the ‘Ireland is different’ mantra when it is anything but …
18.01.2008, 1:22 pmIt’s all good nouns. I’m over the flareup. What Irish people don’t understand is that though you may speak the same language as Americans, you really are different from us. Your culture, morals, level of education, religion, etc… America is a ‘mutt’ country that keeps getting more offended by the new people that are arriving and trying to impose their culture on us. I say bring over whatever you want just don’t break the laws put down by our forefathers. We need to keep America what it originally was and we are so far from that it’s scary. Difference in countries is good. It’s what makes life interesting.
18.01.2008, 4:29 pmHeh! Just read Jessi’s rant. I HATE that! I was working at a certain bank for a while when we first moved here and at least once a day someone would rip into me about Bush based solely on my accent. I wanted to write “I’m fucking Irish, now piss off and leave me alone” on my name badge, but they probably wouldn’t have liked that. Americans are the new British in Ireland methinks. The hypocrisy is the thing that bugs me the most. Not like Bertie is the pillar of society. The Irish will quickly rip Americans to shreds, but anyone with a slight twang better not say anything about them. Grrr! When will it end?
Now when people ask me where I’m from a very curt “Blanchardstown” is my answer and it confuses the hell out of them and I like to leave them at it!
19.01.2008, 12:33 pmWarning, sweeping generalisations ahead!
The point about Americans being the new English in Ireland is a good one, and it’s not just hypocrisy, it’s also stunningly lazy thinking. The Irish flavour of anti-Americanism is very similar to the anti-catholic church thinking that preceded it – conveniently providing a ready-rolled bogeyman responsible for all woes. It’s part of the general lack of accountability which has become a staple of Irish society – it’s always somebody else’s fault (hello Mary Harney & the HSE). Now that I think about it, if you picked up a few weeks’ worth of recent Irish newspapers without any context, you’d be forgiven for thinking that it was the Mahon Tribunal’s fault that the Irish prime minister had vast amounts of unexplained cash sloshing around various safes, mattresses and bank accounts in the mid-90s.
Irish people seem to me to be more adept at doublethink than most. For example, it allowed them to be strongly opposed to America’s military adventures in the Middle East whilst simultaneously accepting the benefits accruing due to the movements of troops through Shannon.
It did give me a giggle when Bertie speculated that all the US multinationals would move out if the Irish government so much as said ‘boo’ to the US government over Shannon. Surely he can make this basic leap of logic – he’s in the pocket of big business, why would the US government be any different? Can you picture this meeting – GW summons Larry and Sergey, Michael Dell and Paul Otellini to the oval office, tells them to pull out of Ireland because ‘they’re really pissing me off’? Didn’t think so … Bertie, the multinationals will move out when your builder friends have ensured that Ireland has priced its workers out of the market, simple as that.
Another classic example is the rabid English-hating republicans (Irish style republicans, that is) who spend their weekends cheering on English football teams. Mad.
Finally, about a month ago, they did back-to-back pieces on George Hook’s radio show on immigration / emigration. The first spot dealt with the immigrant parents of children born in Ireland. The children had been given Irish citizenship before the delightful Michael McDowell closed that ‘loophole’, but the parents had not. There were less than a thousand parents involved in this case. They invited people to text in their opinions and about 75-80% were in favour of deporting the parents.
Immediately afterwards, they did a spot on the ‘undocumented Irish’ in the US. The texters were 75-80% in favour of the (illegal) Irish in the States being cut a special deal and being granted citizenship.
I totally agree that there are significant cultural differences which may be more difficult to identify due to a shared language, and that these run deeper than is usually acknowledged. That’s always going to be the way, and that is what makes life interesting. Otherwise we’d all live in replicas of Las Vegas, with replicas of the replica Venetian canals and Statues of Liberty, and that would be far too bloody confusing.
For economic and geographic reasons, Irish people have had to emigrate and experience different cultures whilst for exactly the same reasons many Americans haven’t. The fact that [insert large percentage here] of Americans don’t have passports is trotted out regularly to illustrate how incurious Americans are about the world around them. The thing is, lots of people just aren’t that interested in Renaissance architecture, art galleries, Viennese waltzes, Bauhaus museums, French haute cuisine and whatever other ‘high’ culture Europe (for example) has to offer. When most people go on holidays they’re interested in sun, snow or similar. The States can offer all of that and more without anyone ever having to leave the lower 50. As one of those Americans without a passport said to me, if I ever feel like going skiing in Switzerland rather than Colorado, then I’ll get a passport.
I’ve met plenty of Irish people who have returned from package holidays unsure where they actually spent the last week. “Where’s Malaga?”, “I think it’s an island in the Mediterranean” – real conversation from a few years back. With a guy who ran his own fairly successful business, employing a few manual operatives who were, apparently, “really stupid”. Riiiight …
Coming from a country that would fit into most states with some change left over, it’s easy for the Irish to generalise about the Americans. At the same time, they’d get very upset if you tried to suggest that they might have something in common with a farmer in the south of France. Or even a farmer in Leitrim.
Conclusion – there are thickos everywhere, its just unfortunate for you guys that, in playground terminology, you’re ‘it’ at the moment.
@Deborah, don’t just say ‘Blanchardstown, say ‘Blanchardstown, it’s just outside Prague’ and watch their mental gears whirr.
@Jessi, nail on the head. It’s disheartening that the US has moved so far so quickly from its founding principles, which for me are still the most aspirational and idealistic of any country I’m aware of. In addition, since the US is a ‘mutt’ country, these principles were what supposedly formed shared American values, rather than religion, race or class.
19.01.2008, 6:42 pmOops, need to learn to close tags ;-)
19.01.2008, 6:43 pmSabrina,
Being Canadian will just expose a different set of prejudices, as many Irish see Canada as part of Britain. Ironically many Canadians think the same of Ireland. But my point is the Quebec vs. the rest of Canada dispute is seen as a proxy battle against (long irrelevant) Brit dominance. Visiting Canadians will be stunned that many Irish can quote the winning margin in the Quebec separation referendum. The Irish think it’s topical and will attempt to discuss this with you. You (the visiting Canadian) will barely remember there was some sort of referendum on the matter, and that good sense prevailed. But it was followed here as if the Irish themselves were sticking it up the Brits. Fenians and all.
And don’t get me started on the Queen of Canada vs. that of the UK. Not the same role, even if held by the same person. Ok I’m started. Having a monarch may not be the most modern idea, but so what? Useless pomp and ceremony ? Maybe, but societies seem to need this to some extent (the role is played by clergy in Ireland). And distasteful deference and devotion to the monarchs is not seen in Canada – that’s confusing Canadians with the Brits (or NI’ers) again.
25.01.2008, 11:56 amI finally returned here and have thoroughly enjoyed the excellent commentary from everyone. Very well written points across the board.
I like the idea that we’re a nation that’s become very used to blaming other people for our troubles. Things have always been ‘messed up’ by other people: first it was the Vikings, then the Normans, then the English, then the Church, now the Americans. Surely I’ve missed out on something along the way there.
Personally I blame the weather. If we had good weather it’d all be different.
13.08.2008, 7:04 pm