I love reading the comments over at Twenty Major, mostly because I can sit on the couch shrieking “Have you seen what these people are saying?” while my husband rolls his eyes at me under his breath and passes me another gin and valium cocktail.

I used to be self-righteous. Now I’m just addicted to tranquillisers.

Anyway, yesterday’s attack of the vapours was brought on by Twenty’s response to Green minister John Gormley’s announcement of a battery disposal scheme:

The directive makes producers responsible for the financing of the collection, treatment and safe disposal of batteries.

Twenty Major, who takes crankiness to height even I have to admire, comments:

There’s simply no question the Greens are making the most of being in government and really addressing the serious issues that affect Irish people today.

OK whatever. If we’d paid a little more attention to our hairspray back in the day, we wouldn’t be in the position we’re in now. We’re just starting to see a groundswell of change today that may reap substantial benefits 20 years from now. Personally, assuming we make it that long, I’d prefer not to be swallowing down Cadmium from battery contaminated groundwater in my drinking glass when we get there.

However, not one to stand on the sidelines and throw stones, I’ve found an environmental campaign right up Twenty’s alley. I think he’ll be able to get behind this concept and will just love lobbying Gormley to take it to the EU. Hours of fun for the whole entourage!

Women in the UK can recycle their vibrators with Love Honey’s Rabbit Amnesty program. So far, Love Honey has collected, processed and recycled nearly a ton of loved to death rabbit vibes. Sure I can mail my vibrators over there, but this is New Ireland, dammit, I should be able to recycle my sex toys right here at home. Preferably in a drop box at my local Tesco or Green Party office, even. In fact, there should be a government sponsored project like this in every country in the EU, don’t you think?

Until he has legislation in place, though, I think I’ll be sending my old rabbits to Twenty, just to keep him hopping.

Now bring mama a gin. And some batteries.